


Comfortably Uncomfortable

by BlackMajjicDuchess



Category: Naruto
Genre: Betrayal, Dreams, F/M, Romance, Treason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-12 11:53:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackMajjicDuchess/pseuds/BlackMajjicDuchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura becomes a bored prisoner of Itachi, but finds him to be a boring disappointment as far as his reputation goes, a dangerous admission. She underestimates his power, and becomes acquainted to a side of him she never expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Spirited Prize

**Author's Note:**

> Previously posted on fanfiction.net under the same pen name on 8/14/2009.
> 
> This was my first ever fanfic. :)

A Spirited Prize

As the sun finally dipped below the horizon, the ragtag group of ninja rounded up their captives. They were a restless lot, hardly able to stand each other's company, but much like the Akatsuki to whom they owed allegiance, they helped each other to accomplish their ends, and in between were able to turn a profit by plundering ravaged villages across the lands. This particular outing, however, well…

The leader of the outlaws leered—from a distance, of course—at the eight women before him, all tied up and beaten to unconsciousness save for one. The last was still fighting. It was impressive, really. The other seven had all been long worn out. For some reason this one still had the strength to continue. She must have excellent control of her chakra, he thought to himself. Normally he'd have saved her for his own pleasure, but she seemed too much of a handful, this one.

He watched the cherry-blossom haired young jounin as she stood with perfect posture between her seven remaining comrades and the dozen or so enemy ninja. She meant to protect them at all costs, even if it meant her life. It was entertaining, at least, but if he did not put a stop to it soon, more of his colleagues were bound to be killed.

"Itachi!" he yelled to the night air, knowing the Akatsuki would be nearby. He grimaced as one of the men the jounin was fighting fell to the ground with a stab wound, bleeding profusely and yelling nothing in particular. "Dammit, you son of a bitch, hurry it up before—" he stopped short as he realized further speech would push the blade into his throat.

"Best not hurry us, old son," said a harsh voice into his ear. "I'm like to just kill ya. And as for him—" a rough hand pushed his shoulder so he could lay eyes on a man, barely a shadow in the failing light but with eyes redder than a massacre, who had just become visible—"he'd do much worse." His assailant pushed him down roughly.

He tasted grass, but it was not going to deter him from his business opportunity. He stood and dusted himself off, then grinned at the blood-eyed shadow. "Itachi Uchiha," he began reverently. "We've dispatched the Leaf ninja as requested. These kunoichi are all that remain. Most are weak. We had to kill some others, unfortunately, but these will serve…other uses." He sneered, but as soon as one crimson iris turned his direction, he found he was not really able to breathe. He swallowed, determined to continue. "There is one though, a bit too spirited for us, who might be to your liking."

The eye facing him narrowed. His blood froze. The moment stretched on for what seemed ages, and he began to rethink the wisdom of summoning the clan killer to the scene. Perhaps they had better attempted to kill her after all, despite the cost to their numbers.

Itachi returned his gaze to where the kunoichi were being kept hostage. It was clear of which female the leader had spoken. Her eyes were fairly blazing in her skull, her face a decent picture of war, and none had broken her line yet. He recognized her immediately as the Jinchuuriki's friend, and knew also that she was from the same team as his younger brother, Sasuke. Furthermore, she was the Fifth Hokage's apprentice, of sorts, and a medical ninja to boot. This foolish rogue ninja had no idea of her value at all. How fortunate.

"I will take her," was all he replied.

The dirty ninja grinned toothily. "Right! I knew you were a man of reason. Now, for my price…" A muffled crack split the night air, and a split second later, he fell to the ground, lifeless. Itachi and his partner, Kisame, approached the kunoichi.

Sakura Haruno.

He caught her eyes then. He knew the moment he did, for her kunai dropped from her hand, her bottom lip quivered and hung slack, and her eyes widened until the moon made them glow. His eyes narrowed as his focus tightened.

Only two men Sakura knew in the world owned a pair of haunting red Sharingan eyes, but only one would approach her with cold death lurking behind them.

Itachi Uchiha.

Thrown entirely off guard, she was caught in the Sharingan's spell before she knew it, and went completely unconscious.


	2. Uses

For two whole days she drifted in and out of consciousness, her eyes barely opening at all. If she woke too fully, a cool hand would grasp her neck, pushing on a pressure point and sending her instantly to sleep again. Her dreams were fitful, mostly nightmares and all about Itachi… and Sasuke. She could not help it. It was the Sharingan glittering in each of them that brought both to mind.

She'd seen Sasuke's eyes full of hate and anger before. Although Itachi's were far more comfortable with a killing glare, they were similar nonetheless, and a cause for nightmares. She'd dream that Sasuke had come back in the night and his eyes looked like Itachi's, ready to kill her or Naruto, or even Tsunade.

Sometimes her nightmares started out pleasant. Sasuke returning to the village, happy to see her, but just as they were catching up, he'd turn out to be Itachi, using a Genjutsu on her all along.

Some of her nightmares were just pure terror. She was being tortured, either physically or emotionally by use of the Sharingan, or he was ordering Kisame to tear her apart, piece by piece with his awful sword, or he was… he was…

* * *

 

She was whimpering in her sleep. Itachi watched her closely as she dreamed slung over Kisame's shoulders, now and again tuning in to her nightmares and reading her thoughts. It was not something most Sharingan users would do, but nightmares were based on impressions, and he needed to know how she felt if he was to exploit that for any reason.

He found it revolting but useful to find she thought of Sasuke so fondly. He still considered his little brother to be little more than a fledgling brat, hardly capable of human reproduction, but it did serve to remind him that that was no longer the case. Sasuke would be 18 by now. He had to remember that, although his brother was undoubtedly still weaker than himself, he was not as weak as he used to be. He wondered if he felt the same way for this foolish girl as she did for him.

The terror she felt toward him was good. He could definitely use that. It was never difficult for him to scare someone to the roots of their hairs. His reputation preceded him in that regard, and his demeanor was enough to reinforce it.

"Hey, Itachi…" Kisame began.

"What is it, Kisame?" he asked coldly, annoyed at having his thoughts interrupted.

Though he knew the tone well, the shark-like man braved onward. "What are your plans for the girl? I don't suppose you've come to your senses and plan to use her like any respectable S-class criminal with a prick would use her, so what gives?"

"The kunoichi is Sakura Haruno." The other man's features fell, indicating that he did not recognize the name. "Sakura Haruno. The Leaf Hokage's apprentice, a medical nin, and the friend of Sasuke and the Jinchuuriki."

Kisame's face brightened. "Well, that's good. Still, that doesn't tell me what you plan on using her for."

Itachi's eyes narrowed. His partner really could be an idiot at times, but he was an idiot content to follow most of Itachi's orders and had a good hand with a blade. "Any number of things. She could draw out Naruto, and possibly Sasuke, perhaps even the Hokage herself, once she is discovered to be missing. In the meantime, perhaps her medical skills will prove useful." He waited as the implications sunk in. Both men were silent for a while. "I will go keep watch. Keep her asleep."

* * *

 

Slowly, Sakura became painfully aware of the world. Her head was pounding, and her eyes burned whenever she let light into them, but she was alive for the time being. She tested her fingers and toes to see if anything was broken or paralyzed, and found her body to be in good working condition, if not the greatest. The sun was high, and she judged it to be sometime around 4 in the afternoon. The last she was aware, it was night, and she was staring headlong into the eyes of Itachi Uchiha.

Her eyes widened, instantly causing her pain, as she remembered what had happened. Her blood ran cold, and sweat beaded on her forehead. She didn't dare move, and even shut her eyes lest her captors realize she was awake. She listened, and waited.

A soft snore issued from her left side. She waited, but nothing else registered. Only one of them was here, but which? She almost laughed aloud as she imagined the famed Itachi Uchiha passed out on prisoner watch, let alone snoring, and decided it must be the other one. Kisame, she thought. He had a chakra-eating blade, if she remembered correctly.

She turned her head slightly to confirm her suspicions. Kisame indeed, and definitely asleep. Where was Itachi? She looked around, then shut her eyes and tuned into the forest rhythm. He was not anywhere nearby. She rolled into a crouch and shut her eyes, gathering focus. Then, she gathered chakra to the bottoms of her feet, took a deep breath, and dashed off into the woods, not daring to look back.

Her heart thudded frantically in her chest, adrenaline pumping through her veins, as she thought she might be free. The wind felt great against her face, and she imagined the story she would have to tell Naruto when she returned to Konoha. She would have screamed for joy if she was not being wary of her two Akatsuki captors.

She thought about having a bowl of Ramen with Naruto when she got back, but for some strange reason the thought made her ill. Perhaps it was because she was so hungry that it was making her sick? A few more yards and she already felt worse. Determined to get as far away as possible, she pressed on, but by now her stomach felt crushed and her eyes were blurring her vision. She felt like she had motion sickness, though she'd only had it when she was young and certainly not since becoming a ninja.

Not too long afterward, she was so disoriented her legs gave out beneath her, jarring her stomach enough to make her vomit upon the leaves. Curled into a ball of misery and heartache that she could go no further, she was not even aware of the sandled feet just inches from her face.

"Hm," said the velvety quiet voice of her nightmares. She wept. "My chakra, acting as a leash. The further you get from me, the more ill you become. Very soon you will feel much better now that I am here." She was dismayed to find that he was right. Her illness was already fading to where it had come from.

"I hate you," she spat, curling up onto her knees and doubling over to keep from facing him. "I hate everything about you." She did glance up at him then, catching his stare. "And if Sasuke does not beat me to it, I _will_ kill you."

Twin sharingan glinted as they narrowed. "Many have said the same. You're too weak. And you always will be."

In a flash, Sakura gathered chakra to her fist and tried to uppercut that arrogant head off his shoulders, but he was faster. Instead she struck air, and Itachi landed a kick to her gut. She flew sprawling across the clearing into the base of a tree and struggled to catch her breath while he spoke to her.

"You will remain with me. You will not run. If you attempt to attack me again, I will kill you."

She glared at him, seething with hate. "Kill me then. I am not afraid of you."

"Don't be so hasty to meet your doom. Be a good little kunoichi and you will return home… someday."

"Oh really? 'Be a polite little ninja, Sakura, and I will allow you to go home.' I'm a Leaf Jounin. I am no one's slave."

"Right now you're a female alone in the wilderness with an Akatsuki who intends to kill your closest friends, you're unarmed and low on chakra. I didn't take you to be a fool."

She stood, not bothering to brush the debris from her clothing, and challenged his glare. "I will go with you," she said and smirked, "but I will kill you…someday." She walked past him and began walking the way she had come, for all the world like a queen at her own court instead of a prisoner.


	3. On Holiday

Sakura was not made to remain unconscious from then on but her hands were bound in such a way that she could not form hand signs. She wished she had Neji's knack for cutting with chakra, but she did not quite understand the way it worked yet.

After their discussion in the woods, Itachi had hardly said a word to her, or even looked in her general direction. She asked him questions anyway, though he never responded, not even once, and on one occasion even used his Sharingan to put her into a Genjutsu just to shut her up for a while. It was a maze, just to keep her occupied, but there were rogue ninja chasing her through it to keep her sufficiently frightened.

She reasoned that he liked to be alone in his thoughts, and decided not to pester him too much. Despite her show of bravery, she knew fully well that he could crush her spirit without hesitation or effort. She only hoped he was used to people fearing him enough to admire her courage, perhaps even to the point of amusement.

Kisame, in fact, frightened her more. He watched her with a gaze she recognized as perversion. He wanted to do things to her, and none of them were pleasant. Some of them were blatantly sexual, sometimes he just wanted to tear her hide off and watch her bleed. The two Akatsuki together were maddening. Kisame's air of violence made her edgy and Itachi's cold malice gave her chills.

Sakura figured she would go crazy before either of them killed her. It was so strange to her that it had an opposite effect than what she expected: she became giddy and ridiculous, cracking jokes and being sarcastic.

Sometimes she caught Itachi looking at her like he was trying to figure out if keeping her was a good idea, or Kisame considering a number of different ways to kill her. She could tell they were annoyed and was amazed she was still alive. It was almost fun, wondering how long it would be before they did her in, for surely they planned to eventually, and she did not really want to live long enough to find out what Itachi needed her for.

One morning, when Itachi woke her to resume traveling, she noticed Kisame was still gone. "Aren't you going to wait for Kisame to come back?" she wondered sleepily. He didn't say anything, just insisted she get moving. Confused, she wondered where he might be, or what they were up to. Did Itachi kill him? Did he defect? Nothing she came up with made sense.

Many hours later, she and Itachi arrived at an abandoned outpost. It was clear from the cleanliness within that the two had been frequenting it for months, perhaps years. It was little more than a cabin; there was one large table, several chairs, four very large rooms for sleeping several people each, a lavatory and a fireplace.

Itachi immediately retired to his own room. He shut the door, leaving her to herself.

Still bewildered, she lit a fire and sat in front of it, staring into the flames and thinking. Where was Kisame? When would he return? How would she kill Itachi? Where were the other Akatsuki? And what had happened to the rest of the ninja that had been captured?

As night fast approached, the fire hypnotized her, and she drifted to sleep.

She woke to the smell of passable cooking. It was incredibly peculiar to her to watch Itachi cook. It seemed far too mundane for someone like him.

 _Like what?_ Her own voice chided her.  _Even S-class criminals need to eat, sleep, pee…_  She giggled, thinking of that, prompting Itachi to freeze in his preparation of a meal.

"Something… amusing, kunoichi?" his smooth voice asked.

"Yes. I was thinking of the S-class clan killer taking a pee," she replied honestly, then started laughing.

He remained still for a few moments, then without answering her he returned to his cooking. In short time, a meal was laid down before them. It was not anything special, but definitely better than field rations. When he was finished, Itachi returned to his chambers without a word and left her there.

This was getting annoying. Prisoner or not, she hated being ignored.

She kicked open the door, intending on practicing a way of words she had learned from her teacher, the Hokage, not sure what to expect other than cold eyes, but what she  _did_ see surprised her so that she could not say anything at all.

Itachi had removed his shirt, readying for sleep, and had his back turned to her. As soon as the door was busted in, he turned enough to throw a shuriken, pinning her right sleeve to the wall, and stared at her.

She stared back. An awkward moment passed; he glaring at her and daring her to comment on his state of undress, she speechless at having seen so much bare skin from someone so dangerous. Even more shocking to her was the instant attraction she felt upon seeing his smooth, strong back.

Then, slowly, as if compelled, Sakura retreated from the room, awestruck, and found one of the unused rooms to lay down in.

Days passed, so same as to be infuriating. Itachi cooked, but that was the only thing extraordinary about any day. Sakura could only while away the hours with some minor forms of training. She meditated, trying to hone her chakra skills, and practiced gathering chakra to different points of her body, even those she did not believe would be useful.

Itachi spent a lot of time holed up in his room, and she wondered absently how he could be so formidable without any training at all. She doubted there was much he could do just sitting in there unless it was exactly as she was doing now. She didn't find that likely. He probably needed to spar, and with Kisame away was out of a practice partner.

This gave her an idea. A dangerous idea, but one she hoped would help her too. "Hey," she said to Itachi through his door, "if you want to fight with me, I'm game."

"I don't think so," was the only reply.

"Suit yourself." She went outside without him anyway, and practiced her taijutsu against the wind. It was not very useful except for stretching out sore muscles, but it was all she had.

She was annoyed to discover that when Itachi was apparently on holiday he was extremely lazy. He was terrible company, and even managed to disappoint on a criminal level. It seemed when he was not out terrorizing the world he slept all day. It sort of disenchanted her out of really fearing him, though she still was fully aware he could kill her with literally a thought.

She wondered why he hadn't.


	4. Squandered Hospitality

Finally, one night while eating dinner, she managed to get some answers.

"Where's Kisame?"

His hands folded in front of his face, eerily reminiscent of Sasuke. His face appeared to be slightly amused. "Missing him? He had business to attend to in the Rain Country. We don't get mixed up in personal affairs."

"Oh. Why am I still alive?"

"You're the bait."

"For whom?"

"I can't answer that."

"Can't or won't?" He didn't answer.

A moment hung in the air. Itachi broke the silence. "Why are you not afraid?"

"I'm probably going to die anyway. I'd rather it be on my terms. No need to be afraid of certainties."

"Why do you care for Sasuke?"

"Why does anyone? Why do leaves allow themselves to be caught on breezes? Why do people become ninja? Why did you kill your family? I've always cared for Sasuke, it's just the way it has always been. Hard to change." She shrugged and picked at her food.

Each wondered silently why they were answering questions all of a sudden. Each supposed it was due to the rare opportunity to tell someone who both would not tell and probably didn't care.

"I killed my family because they needed to be killed."

"Right," she answered sarcastically, and indulged in a bottle of wine she'd unfurled.

"I don't expect you to understand. As you said, it's the way it's always been." This last sentence confused Sakura.  _The way it's always been? What, that his family needed to be killed? Weird._  "Does Sasuke also care for you?"

Her mood darkened, and she cradled her wine cup a little more closely. "Never has. I'm a fool, and he's a dick. It's my destiny, I suppose," she grumbled.

Wryly she realized that she and Itachi had something in common. He and Sakura shared love and hate for the youngest Uchiha. He must have loved his brother once, and he did let only Sasuke survive the Uchiha massacre.

He let her stew in her thoughts and steep in wine, then when her head got droopy, he abandoned her at the table, and retired to his chambers.

He stared at the ceiling, and let his thoughts assail him as they did every night. He needed to face his demons every evening so they would not bother him throughout the day. Anger, love, hate, guilt, greed… all of his emotions he fed into a flame, leaving his heart blank of feelings. By the end of the hour, he felt nothing besides his cool mask of murder, a perfect weapon of killing.

It was at that moment that Sakura decided to burst through the door.

She knocked the door off its hinges as she stumbled into the room. Itachi was on his feet in a flash, wearing only a pair of loose pants for sleeping, his necklace, and a blazing set of eyes belonging only to this killer.

"Itachi!" she barked at him, then heaved a deep, drunken breath. "I said I am going to kill you. Prepare to meet your end." She rushed at him with a wooden spoon, having no kunai to speak of, intending to gouge him to death with it.

Years of honed intelligence, agility, and strength easily sidestepped the suicide blow, and Sakura staggered past where he stood, crashing into the far wall. Instantly, Itachi was upon her, pinning her body was his own, wrenching both arms awkwardly across her chest against the hard wooden wall with his left hand and grasping her throat with his right.

His eyes, no longer lazy or relaxed, projected every ounce of terror he had ever contained straight into her mind. The Sharingan swirled and bristled with points, catching Sakura in a Genjutsu.

Unable to fully comprehend what she had done, Sakura's heart pounded in fear. The Genjutsu easily caught her, and she could not escape.

In the Genjutsu, Itachi had her pinned to the wall as he did now, but she could see past him. Beyond his ear, another Itachi stood veiled in shadows. She watched him as Sasuke confronted him for the first time after killing their parents. She watched as it dawned on Sasuke's young face that his Big Brother had murdered their whole family, and distantly was aware that Sasuke could never be saved. No one could ever be normal after this. She cried.

After that she watched body after body fall on the streets of the Uchiha village. Faces, wide eyed and staring, shocked that one of their own would be the machine of their destruction.

This image Itachi showed her again and again until she sobbed uncontrollably against his grip. "Please! Stop this. Stop showing me this!" She slumped against his hand.

He released her from the Genjutsu and let her drop to the floor, where she immediately curled up into a ball and continued sobbing.

He looked down at her, his eyes cold and uncaring. Then he turned and walked to the doorway. When he reached it, he stopped. Without turning, he told her, "From now on, you will not leave this room."

The door clicked shut. She heard the lock being turned.

Hopelessness washed over her.


	5. Chapter 5

Sakura did as she was told. For weeks, she did not leave the room. Itachi would open the door once a day to bring her food, instead of the two meals a day they'd been eating together. The room she was confined to had its own bathroom. It did not have a shower. She felt miserable. She had no one to talk to and nothing to do, and worse, the Genjutsu he had shown her was vivid in her mind.

Beyond that, even, she remembered the others who were with her the day she was captured. It had to have been months since then. How many of them escaped, if any?

No one had found her yet, either. They probably never would. She wondered if they assumed she was dead, yet, or if they believed she had abandoned everyone. No one alive knew that Itachi had her in his grasp.

Things were beginning to look utterly hopeless.

Each night ended in tears and confusion. She discovered that she had been harboring a belief that maybe Itachi still had feelings. He had pretty much let her be for the longest time, and they ate dinner together every night. Saying they had a friendship was beyond comprehension of course, but it was not too farfetched to believe maybe they had an easy companionship, much like that of his and Kisame's? And where  _was_ Kisame? Perhaps he was dead.

She sighed heavily and gazed out the window. If it were not for Itachi's chakra leash, escape would be a simple matter. Break glass. Run.

What was that? There was something moving out there. The outpost was set up rather obviously at the crest of a hill, looking out in all directions at treeline. Right now, someone was coming toward them, but the figure was too far away for her to tell who it was.

Her mind raced. Should she tell Itachi? If it was his friend, it mattered not. If it was his enemy, perhaps they would kill him and set her free! On the other hand, she was only in a locked room, in her own clothes, unarmed and unbound. They might assume she was here of her own free will no matter what she told them and kill her too.

After a moment's consideration, she decided there was more good than harm in telling Itachi.

"Itachi!" she hissed through her door. "Someone is coming… northeast treeline."

She heard soft footfalls swiftly passing her door to the entrance. They paused, then she heard the main door creak open. She returned to the window, and peeked out. The figure had disappeared behind a hill. Itachi was nowhere to be seen.

Several minutes passed before she saw either of them again, but when she did, she had a much clearer view of who was approaching.

It was Kisame, now slumped with an arm around Itachi's shoulders. He looked to be badly injured.

When they had reached the doorway again, Itachi called her out. "Kunoichi!" he commanded.

She tried the door. Locked. "Hard to get to you when you lock me in," she grated.

"Then break it," he replied tersely.

She shrugged, then gathered the chakra to her fist and shattered the door off its hinges. "As you wish." Moments later she appeared in the entrance to the hallway.

Kisame was laid out on the dining room table. His face was sweating and he was having trouble breathing. Itachi had removed his cloak already and was about to saw through his shirt with a cooking knife. Sakura could tell from where she was standing that the wounds in his ribs were very deep. He was probably bleeding internally, and gauging by the trouble he was having with his breathing, his lungs were either pinched by ribs or punctured as well.

Just making it this far, from wherever he had been, was impressive. As if a testament to her thoughts, Kisame slipped into unconsciousness. Having made it to where he needed to go, he had no need to fight against the darkness.

Itachi did not even look at her. "You will heal him." He cut the shirt from Kisame's torso.

"I will do no such thing," she replied evenly.

He shot her a look that could freeze Hell itself. "This is why you are still alive, Kunoichi. You will heal him or you will die."

There it was. She was only alive because she had a use. In her mind she weighed the pros against the cons. If she let Kisame die, she was surely dead as well. If she healed him, she could live, at least a little longer, but she would have lost the opportunity to be the cause of death for one member of the Akatsuki.

Clearly it made more sense to let him die, but something told her she needed to stay alive a little longer.  _Probably just self-preservation,_  she thought dryly. Oh well.

She stepped up to Kisame and used her chakra to map out the damage. It was as she had originally thought. His lung was being crowded by some broken ribs, and his innards had been pierced in two places. His body was already infected with bacteria where his wounds were exposed. Obviously he'd been injured for a few days at least. He'd be dead before the evening was over without her help.

She sighed.  _What I do to keep my own virtually useless husk of a life going,_  she mused with ill humor. She formed the healing ball of chakra and pushed it into Kisame's body, guiding the energy into reknitting the tattered body back into its original form. It did not take very long, and as soon as she was finished, his breathing returned to normal and he appeared healthier. He was still unconscious, but she knew he would need the rest to regain his strength.

"He will be fine," she told Itachi, wiping the beads of sweat from her brow and stepping back. "He will probably wake in a few hours. I'm tired. I will return to my prison for now," she muttered.

Itachi merely nodded in response and took up a post by the fire.

 _Damn that man,_  she thought.  _He has me healing a rogue swordsman and eating dinner with a Clan Killer._ She slumped down upon the hard bed and stared at the ceiling. Her chakra was pretty much used up. Before long, she was asleep.

Itachi stared at the woman's prostrate form upon his favorite bed. He'd never really spent time with anyone besides Kisame and the other Akatsuki. It was especially odd to spend any time with a woman. He knew if the other Uchiha were alive, he'd be considering getting married himself and continuing the line. Although he didn't feel any sort of regret for that never again being possible, it was amusing to wonder about.

He thought about the first time he had seen her, green eyes blazing with a defiance the likes he had never seen, augmented by the fact that he knew she had the strength to back up her passion for being a ninja.

It was also entertaining that she did not feel she needed to fear him. He had not exactly shown his full force toward her; that he always reserved for very special occasions. However, it never took much to cause fear in even the most powerful ninja. If what she showed toward him was a front, it was a good one. She mostly appeared bored and at ease.

He tuned into her dreams, as he did every night. It was always the same. Sasuke had hurt her, and she cared too much about everyone. The Genjutsu he had showed her had only increased her pity for Sasuke, not her fear of Itachi. Intriguing.

Itachi was allowing himself a rare moment of pure admiration. Sakura Haruno was a strong kunoichi, trained in medical ninjutsu, unable to filter her emotions, even if it were hot anger or a feeling of responsibility to those she was close to, or regret. She was also quite pretty. Her years had aged her well. Her legs were strong yet slender, her blossom colored hair soft and bountiful. It was hot at the outpost and she'd taken to braiding it. Doing so had emphasized her brilliant green eyes.

She really had not been a lot of trouble, and had eased a feeling of isolation he had never realized was there. Mostly he felt guilt. He knew his family needed to die, but they were still his family. The decision to kill them had taken its toll on him. He felt far older than he was. He wondered if killing Sasuke might have saved Sakura the grief and regret she'd been toiling under for years. Might killing his foolish little brother have brought more peace to this pathetic world?

Part of Itachi had let Sasuke live to share the anguish of losing his clan, even if they did not empathize with each other. The pain Itachi had felt since then was unbearable, but deserved, and it brought some satisfaction to know he was not the only one feeling it.

Idly, he wondered if Sakura would care to know the full truth. Would she soften toward him and understand? Or would she think him a monster, as so many were quick to assume?

On an impulse, Itachi altered Sakura's dreams slightly. He stood vigil over her, and watched how they would affect her rest.


	6. Troubling Dreams

Sakura found herself staring into the eyes of Sasuke. They looked sad, far off, and lost. "Sasuke!" she yelled in surprise. "It's wonderful to see you! I'm so glad you're back!"

He let her embrace him, but did not flinch. "I've done it," he said bluntly. "I've done it and I've returned to you as you've hoped I would."

She was beside herself with joy. Sasuke was back, and he missed her! "Are you alright? Everyone will be so excited that you've returned."

"Sakura," he said to her. "I'm not the same. I won't ever be the same, but I need to restore the Uchiha clan, and I know you'd help."

She was saddened by his words. She knew what he meant. His dreams had always been to kill his brother and restore his clan. He was very adamant about them, and she had often fantasized what it might be like to be the woman who received such intensity as he loved her.

She knew in her heart he had lost touch with the boy he used to be. His vengeance satisfied, there was only one thing left for him to do, and nothing would ever bring him any true joy. He had poured his heart and soul into killing his elder brother, and nothing in the world would ever need so much effort or drive him as hard.

Not even a family.

It hurt her, more than she cared to admit, that even now that Sasuke wanted her, it was not how she hoped. He would never love her as she thought she did him. Their life together would never bring her joy. Quite the opposite, in fact. Being around something she wanted so long that was a constant disappointment was wont to make her depressed.

But she owed it to him, didn't she?

 _For what?_ Inner Sakura asked bitterly.  _He's only ever cared about himself. Never did and never will care about anyone else. Why should you give him everything if he gives you nothing in return?_

She thought about what it might be like to have his babies. Surely they would bring her joy? Her mother had always told her there is nothing like having children.

 _Ah, but do they have to be his?_ Her inner voice chattered on.

But what about the bloodline limit? Should it be lost to the world simply because she refused to be with Sasuke after all this time?

 _The Sharingan…_ inner Sakura cooed.  _You know this is a dream, right? There yet lives another Sharingan user. Not sore on the eyes either!_

Itachi?! He's a murderer! He killed his own clan!

 _You're a ninja. You've killed, too. Does anyone even know_ why  _Itachi killed his family?_

Clearly, he's insane.

_Is he? Do maniacs cook dinner for you and listen to what you have to say?_

This was all terribly confusing. She blamed Sasuke for making her so weak. He hurt her so consistently that it made her self-destructive. She blamed Itachi for making him this way. She blamed Itachi for looking like Sasuke—

_Itachi was born first, Sakura…_

SHUT UP!

Her dreams flashed. Itachi stood alone in a field of daisies. The wind was blowing his Akatsuki cloak and tendrils of his hair. He held one hand out to her, daring her to take it. His eyes were level and calm.

_No. No no no._

Her feet carried her forward. Her hand reached out.

_No no no! I don't want this._

He drew her close, and peered down into her upturned face. He held her hands in his.

She looked up into his dark Uchiha eyes. This was no Sharingan Genjutsu. It was merely a dream she had produced. She found them to be very calming, mirrors of obsidian that held no malice, only a serene sort of tragedy.

She saw hurt in them, pain that eerily reminded her of her own. She never shared with anyone, and neither did he.

She was captivated by the power he held over her. A wowed feeling swept up from her toes to her throat. She opened her lips just a little to draw breath.

He tipped his head down and kissed her. His lips upon hers were the softest things she had ever experienced. At first she did not move, just to live in the exquisite tenderness of it. Then she sighed, content, and returned the kiss.

She woke up in a hot sweat, alarmed. She half expected to see him hovering over her, but there was no one in the room.

"Damn it all," she said to no one. "I'm totally fucked."


	7. An Absence of Fear

She continued to have dreams of Itachi for many nights afterward. They were dreams she thoroughly enjoyed, but felt guilty and sick for upon waking. Nothing had ever made her feel special or wanted since she had wanted to feel special and wanted. The dreams themselves were bliss she had always waited for, despite the main attraction.

It made breakfast awkward every morning. She could never look at Itachi in the morning when it felt like she'd been lying under him all night. When he so much as glanced at her, she blushed fiercely and tried to look meek.

Each night, Itachi came to her, warm and soft and everything she had always dreamed of. Each morning, Itachi made breakfast, his eyes as hard and cold as ever. It was an intriguing dichotomy.

After one particularly steamy dream, Itachi breached the subject. "Your demeanor has changed," he stated bluntly, taking a sip of hot coffee.

She was not sure how to respond. "Months of Akatsuki treatment can do that to a person, I suppose," she answered blandly, then also disappeared into her coffee.

He regarded her carefully. Sip. Stare. Sip. Stare. "Months of Akatsuki treatment leads to a state of terror or hollowness, or death. You show none of these signs." He paused. "Do I frighten you?"

"Yes," she lied, hoping he would stop pestering her about it.

Quicker than she could react, Itachi shot his fork past her ear, shearing off a lock of her hair and pinning it to the far wall. He met her eyes and said nothing. She had not flinched. She knew the lie was evident all over her face. She had never feared him. She could tell from the beginning he'd been going easy on her, holding back. If he had wanted to kill her he could have done it plenty of times already.

Furthermore, she'd not lured anyone to his hideout for him to kill, and the only healing she had performed was on Kisame, who was, once again, fighting in the Rain Country, itching to bring her more holes to patch up.

After the fork incident, Itachi watched her reactions each morning. For her part, Sakura did her best to hide the fact that she was often imagining him shirtless, and hoped Itachi had so little interest in sex that he did not recognize her signs.

This was clearly not something she needed right now.

For his part, Itachi stood vigil at her bedside nearly every night. He had stopped influencing her dreams a long time ago, but fed off them nonetheless. He'd never done any of the things she dreamed about, so it was a little unnerving watching them unfold.

However, somewhere within him something was stirring he'd not felt before. As he watched her in her own dreams making sounds he'd never heard someone make before he became aroused. It was difficult to leave the room before she woke; he wanted to know how the story ended.

On a whim, he neared her bedside, where she had relaxed at last, and had curled up around a pillow with a contented sigh. He rested his eyes upon her face, calm and peaceful as she slept.

Her cheeks looked to him to be very soft, and before he knew what he was even doing, his lips pressed gently against them.

Sakura's eyes flew open. She sat up suddenly in bed and looked about the room, but there was not anyone there.

Her cheek still felt warm and tingly from where she thought Itachi had kissed her.

"These dreams are too real," she grumbled to herself, and drifted back to sleep. She had one thought on her mind as her dreams welcomed her back.

_Itachi…_

"Itachi…" she breathed as she fell asleep.

That had been too close, he admonished himself. Silently he left the room. But he could never stop himself from kissing her face each night before he left the room.


	8. Curiosity Kills

Sakura gathered her wits as she stood outside the door. It seemed sort of ironic to her that behind this plain wooden door, unadorned, lay perhaps the most dangerous ninja she'd ever heard of, asleep on his cot.

Why was she doing this again?  _You just want to look at him. To stare without being interrupted._  Ah, right. Since she'd started having her erotic dreams she had hoped to get a good look at his face, to study its details and commit them to memory. This was, of course, very difficult to do since she did not want him to catch on that she was interested in the details of his face.

Steeling her resolve, she pushed the door open as quietly as possible. She cringed when it creaked softly, and pushed it open faster to minimize the effect.

The door was open. Silently, she crept through the doorway. There were 12 beds in this room. As in the other room, he had pushed two together in the furthest corner, so he could see the rest of the interior. It was a subconscious self-preservation instinct. Perhaps for Itachi, it was entirely conscious.

He was lying on his side, facing the wall.  _Damn,_ she thought.  _I won't be able to see if he is waking._  His breathing was perfectly silent, and he didn't snore, so she had no way to tell if he was even asleep now.

She considered fleeing, but much like she had felt about Kakashi and seeing his face unmasked, she was determined to get a good long look at the face of the Clan Killer.

 _I need to stop thinking of him as 'the Clan Killer,'_ she chastised herself.  _He makes fantastic pancakes, for fuck's sake._

She approached Itachi's bed, and went around to the far side, the direction he was facing. His eyes were closed. He appeared to be asleep. She clasped her hands in front of her waist and cocked her head slightly sideways, studying his features.

The lines on his face had always fascinated her. She wondered if they were features that were present from birth, or if they'd been worn into his face from all the pressures he had experienced as a child. For the first time ever, she considered what it must be like to be the eldest Uchiha son. He must have had the highest expectations to live up to in order to please their father. Sakura remembered well that Itachi had been the jewel of the Leaf Village. They'd learned about him aside their other studies. He was a genius, the most promising ninja to ever come out of the Uchiha clan. Maybe he was told the future of the Uchiha clan rested entirely upon his shoulders.

Grimly, Sakura noted how true that really was, although it was probably not as the clan had intended all along.

Besides those lines, his face was very smooth, his lips quite full, and slightly open as he slept so he could breathe silently through his mouth. A lock of hair had fallen across his cheek, and she struggled to resist moving it from his face.

She yearned to see his eyes open and looking into hers, but dared not wake the sleeping monster.

Her eyes fell to the necklace around his neck. Now, _that_  she never understood. Where had he gotten it from? Why did he wear it? Was it a lover's token of a sort? Her heart fell, and a pang of jealousy made her hands itch. That was the moment she realized that, if at all possible, she needed to claim him.

Sakura Haruno, most renowned medical ninja for having the softest heart in the Leaf Village, was in love with Itachi Uchiha, a traitor of his village and clan.

She swallowed, hard, at the thought. She knew already she could only have one of the things she wanted: the Leaf Village or Itachi. She'd never be able to have both.

She turned to leave him to his rest and nearly ran into Itachi between herself and the wall. His crimson eyes were boring into her skull. She froze. Any minute now she would be a prisoner of his Genjutsu, but she could not turn away.

Behind her she heard the shadow clone poof out of existence, and felt like a complete fool.  _Idiot, Sakura! Idiot!_

He took a step toward her. She took a step back, but she bumped into the bed. Her knees buckled beneath her and she fell into a seated position on its edge.

"This makes twice you've entered my room without permission," he crooned, deadly soft. "I won't give you this room, too."

"Itachi, I'm sorry," she started.

His eyes narrowed a fraction. In the dark, his silhouette and his eyes were all she could see.

She trailed off, unsure what to say. Anything could lead to her death.

"Were you hoping to kill me?" he asked. "Your methods are lacking practice."

Her eyes widened. "No! Of course not!"

"'I will kill you… someday.' Is that not what you said, Kunoichi?"

"It's Sakura, actually, and yes, I did say that. It's just—"

"Not today? Hm." In one swift motion he was atop her, her arms pinned above her head, and a kunai at her throat. "Why should I not kill you?" he whispered.

"If you want to, get on with it. I don't know why I'm here anyhow. You don't need me, and no one is coming to rescue me," she challenged.

The moment stretched on, their eyes engaged in a battle of stares. Itachi was hesitating.

"Why can't you kill me, Itachi Uchiha?" she mocked. "Am I too much a challenge, unarmed and beneath you like this?"

In truth, he did not know why he could not kill her. He'd never had trouble hesitating on a kill before. But he seemed to be lingering when it was most important.  _Swiftly, thrust the blade into your opponent,_ he heard his father's voice in his head.  _Do not give them time to think of an escape, and do not let them try to persuade you out of it._

 _You disappoint me, Itachi,_  he heard in his mind.  _You can't even kill a girl._

"Do it!" she choked.

His eyes snapped back into focus as if waking from a dream. Still holding the kunai to Sakura's bare throat, he leaned forward and lingeringly kissed her cheek, much like he had on all those nights she had dreamed of him. With the hand he'd been holding her back with he caressed her face.

Sakura's eyes widened in shock. Her mouth dropped open in disbelief. As her mind raced, considering what had just occurred, her heart began to pound.  _Did that really just happen?_

Itachi released her as suddenly as he'd pinned her, and completely disappeared, leaving Sakura exactly where she was, unable to move.


	9. Chapter 9

He didn't return the next day. Or the next. On the third day following their encounter, Kisame returned from his battles. Sakura was glad to note that his injuries this time were minor, not necessarily for the sake of the man himself, but for the lack of tiring medical ninjutsu she would have to perform.

"Where's Itachi?" he asked her, suspicious.

"Hell if I know," she grumbled, feeling her pulse quicken at his name. She didn't know why he would not come back, but it made her feel as if it was her fault, her flaw that kept him away.

Kisame looked at her sidelong, but from whatever he saw there, he must have decided she did not kill him. Probably didn't believe she was capable, which was probably true.

In the absence of Itachi, Sakura and Kisame were forced to interact with each other. Sakura cooked instead. Her knowledge of cooking was not very extensive, but she managed to keep them fed.

Kisame  _was_  willing to spar with her, something Itachi would never do. She found him to be faster than she had judged him for, and he hit a lot harder than her friends had when fighting her. She realized they must have been going easy on her this whole time, to her dismay. Kisame was pushing her. He wanted the practice for himself; he never intended to let her win. More than once, she walked away from the practice field with welts and bruises, even a couple of broken bones. These were easily healed, but caused a lot of pain when they'd been made. Even when she broke a bone, he'd not relent. When she pleaded with him to let her heal herself before they continued, he laughed. "You really think your enemy is going to let you stop fighting because you broke an arm?" He shook his head. "If nothing else, Kunoichi, you will be tougher than stone before I am through with you. Your movements are pathetic." He never elaborated  _why_ he thought her movements were pathetic. Kisame was not much of a teacher, but through constant battling with him, she knew she was improving. She stopped breaking bones, and before long, even the bruises became few and far between.

2 weeks, and Itachi had not returned. Kisame had become an easy friend. He was not very compassionate, but his stories were often interesting. Every so often he'd come up with sake that she was not even aware was in the outpost (and in fact, she'd looked for it and could not find it anywhere), and they'd get roaring drunk.

It was on one such occasion that Itachi finally opened the door. He appeared in the doorway, framed by a halo of setting sun, making his face impossible to see, but she knew from the shape of his frame that it was he.

"Oy, Itachi!" Kisame called. "Look who finally decided to show up!" He took a swig of sake and slammed his glass down. "You look like hell," he smirked.

Itachi fried him in his seat with an acid glare.

Kisame laughed. "Cold and bitter as a frigid wind as always. You're such an asshole."

Without comment, Itachi strode past the table and went straight to 'his' room.

"What's up his ass?" Kisame asked Sakura.

She shrugged. "I dunno. You were right, probly. He's an asshole." Kisame blinked at her, then erupted into laughter. She smiled at him and downed her glass.

He wiped tears from his eyes. "He's an asshole!" he chuckled. "You're so right!"

After Kisame had passed out, Sakura went to Itachi's room. Remembering their last encounter, she chose to knock. "Enter," was the reply.

Meekly, she walked as carefully as she could into the room, drunkenly bumping her shins on a table by the door. "Oof," she exclaimed, and giggled. She did her best impression of a sober face and met his gaze. "You okay?" she asked timidly.

He regarded her carefully. "Yes."

She nodded, appearing to his eyes to be overthinking his response.  _I'm fine, so your business here is done. Leave._ He didn't say this, but he thought it.

"Itachi, about the other day…" she trailed off, but attempted to approach him. He didn't move. After receiving silence as a confirmation that she could sit, she sat on the foot of his bed. She crossed one leg over the other and leaned backward, looking at him upside down. "You kissed me. Why?" She waited a moment before adding, "Sorry, I'm drunk. Will try to be reaaaal serious." She giggled.

"Was it terribly unpleasant? Next time I could just kill you instead," he offered, knowing he would never be able to now.

Her eyes widened and she feigned innocence. "Nahhh, why would you do such a thing, Itachi?" She rolled her legs up toward her chest and let herself fall sideways, drawing them up beside her. She gazed up at him and tried her best to imitate a smoldering look. "On the contrary, I rather enjoyed it," she whispered.

"I don't think you know what you're doing, Sakura," he said darkly to the wall.

"I'm a grown woman, actually, and I know exactly what I am doing," she replied tartly, moving closer.

Itachi inhaled a slow, deep breath. Swift as ever, he thrust her against the wall and pinned her with his body. His torso crushed her chest against the wall. He leaned in close, and inhaled her scent. He ran his nose up her neck, breathing her in. He nibbled at her ear, then spoke softly into it. "Is this what you want?" He asked. Before she could answer, he continued. "To be cradled in the arms of madness? Do you want to be forbidden to step foot in the Leaf Village ever again, betray Sasuke in every way possible, and to lie each night with a man who will not hesitate to murder those closest to you on a daydream?"

He felt her trembling against him, could smell the sake on her breath. Fear? Desire?

Her voice shook when she answered, but she did not sound in the slightest bit drunk anymore. "Yes," she breathed.

He pressed his lips against her neck, delicately, slowly, giving her time to change her mind. His body still held her in a lock. She sighed into his hair as he gave her his attentions. His mouth moved down her collarbone, braver than before.

It felt like all her dreams, except far better. In this version, Itachi was very real; she could smell the clean scent of his skin, wrap her hands in his hair, pull him closer, murmur devilish promises into his ear, and kiss him.

She wrapped one arm around his waist and up his back. The other she tangled into his hair to grip the back of his head, pulling him to her face. She rested her forehead against his for a moment, then tipped her chin up to make their mouths meet.

Real life Itachi kissed far better than dream Itachi. She could have kissed him until her breath expired, but as soon as her hands started wandering, he lifted her and laid her down on the bed before him. "Cherry blossoms should never be crushed against walls," he purred to her. He shed his Akatsuki cloak, making the shapes of his muscles and back more visible for her to admire. She sighed. Her heart pounded.

She was about to perform the most awful betrayal that her mind could ever concoct: he'd hurt her friend and former crush, Sasuke, had killed his whole family. He'd killed civilians of Konoha. He'd kill them again. He meant Naruto harm. He was an S-class criminal on a wanted list she was supposed to check off. He was the most dangerous ninja she had ever met.

And she wanted him.

Every fiber of her being craved everything about him. She needed his voice to start and finish her every day, that soft, velvety thing that emanated from his lips, a voice made to make women melt and never used for it. She wanted to feel her skin pressed against his, to be as close as possible to its warmth and softness. She needed those delicately full lips to kiss her to pieces and whisper things to her that only grown men whispered to women.

She loved the pancakes, the sake, the tense, dramatic way she felt around him, like every minute was a surprise.

He settled himself over her, kissed her as thoroughly as he knew how, knowing every minute of it was wrong, even for him, hating himself for it and doing it anyway. He'd never had trouble being selfish before, but he felt awful for doing what he knew would ruin the rest of her life.

"Sakura…" he said to her in the dark. "It's not too late yet. Give me the word, you can go home tomorrow. None of this happened, and if it did it was a Genjutsu. You belong in Konoha, not as the decoration of a violent Akatsuki." His dark eyes locked with hers, reading her expressions.

For a moment, she did consider it. Had been considering it. Konoha probably assumed she was dead by now. It'd been almost a year without word. And if she went back, what? She'd be the object of everyone's pity again. She was no longer weak but she was still viewed as such. She'd never amount to much. There was no one for her in Konoha and she'd been restless for a long time, searching for her usefulness, and just a place to belong.

As long as she did not, herself, need to kill her friends, she would sacrifice it, even on a whim. A chance, just for her, for Sakura, to be someone's secret treasure.

"Can you just promise me that you won't hurt Kakashi or Naruto?" she asked quietly. She knew there was no good in asking him to keep away from Sasuke. Sasuke would find him anyway.

Even in the dark though, his beautiful eyes flashed with a hint of anger. What would he lose by it though? He could easily outmaneuver any ninja and never be hurt. It meant no Jinchuuriki for him, though, unless he took someone else's.

He looked down upon her worried face, bathed in moonlight. He suddenly felt a pang of regret. Would she ever be as concerned for him as she was for the copy ninja and the demon fox? Would she look at anyone else like she looked at him now, and fight for  _his_  well being?

He knew she would. He'd seen it in her eyes when he'd captured her. "You have my promise, Sakura."

She heaved a sigh of relief. "Then yes, Itachi, if it pleases you I'd like to stay here."

The rest of the night put her dreams to shame.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (NOTE: Author's notes are from years ago when the story was first published, and in response to reviews)
> 
> Thank you for your support, and for reading. :) I agree with all of you that the ending feels chopped. You can blame my second story (Second Chances) for that. I needed to get it written down and I had trouble dividing my time. I felt I just needed to end it and move on.


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